


The Economy of Outhouses

by burning_nova



Series: Kinkmeme Fills [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 02:46:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burning_nova/pseuds/burning_nova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>$160 billion dollars in damage to New York. Loki must find a way to repay this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Economy of Outhouses

**Author's Note:**

> Warning many economical inaccuracies, crack. 
> 
> Another of my prompt fills. Found here: http://norsekink.livejournal.com/9985.html?thread=21066497#t21066497
> 
> Someone calculated that the attack in Avengers caused about 160 billion in damages. After Thor brings Loki home Asgard decides to pay wergild to appease the humans. Asgard is the kind of place that gold plates its outhouses for shit and giggles. 160 billion in gold is nothing to them. In fact, Odin makes Loki pay it out of his pocket money.
> 
> So 160 billion in gold is delivered to Earth... where the sudden influx of that much gold completely derails the golds standard and the economy. Oops.

Odin burst into his study and stopped at the sight before him. Thor was shoving a bar of gold into Loki’s face, who understandably was backing away from it with a look of disgust. Odin’s lips curled back in disgust. “Thor! Stop that and put that down! Whose outhouse did you steal that from?” He demanded. Loki looked relieved seeing him and stepped at least three steps away from his brother. 

“I did not steal it! I borrowed it.” Thor said indignantly. 

“It is the same thing if you do it without permission.” Odin snapped. “and now some poor peasant is missing a brick in his outhouse!” He said scandalized. “I taught you better, boy!”

“It is from Earth!” Thor yelled.

“A mortal’s outhouse then.” Odin amended. Loki made an ‘ew’ sound. 

“It has not been used in an outhouse or been part of one or is going to be one.” Thor snapped. “Midgardians believe this is the highest quality gold that exists. I came to show Loki in order so he may understand that weregild in our currency would not have the same value on Midgard. They may not even recognize our gold as true gold if this,” He said waving the brick in disgust. “Is what they believe to be its purest form.”

“I may pay them in outhouses then.” Loki said. “I could take Heimdall’s…”

“The House of Odin does not repay debts with outhouses!” Odin yelled then looked flabbergasted. Surely he hadn’t uttered those words?

“It may do no good. The Earthlings do not use gold as a standard of currency.” Thor said. “They use paper money whose value is tied to this game called the ‘stock market’ and base their value off how tokens called stock change throughout the course of the game.” 

“Hmm, good. Loki you will play this game then pay weregild with that. You will not, and I repeat, will not use repay the mortals in outhouses or any other metal. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, All Father.” Loki sulked. 

“Good. Now, Thor return that at once and wash your hands.”

“Yes, All Father.”

“Good, all is settled then.” 

Many months later.

“UH, our main competitor was Loki?” Tony gaped incredulously as the god of chaos handed over a check to the Mayor of New York for $160 billion dollars. Then vanished once it was accepted by the surprised Bloomberg.

“It appears so.” Pepper said. “He apparently earned that much money in the past few months. All through out the world.”

“Hey guys?” Clint called from the door. They turned around to look at him. “Can any of you answer the question as to why all our bathrooms are now made of gold?”

“Noooo.” Tony said confused and went to investigate. 

In Asgard Heimdall looked at his tiled outhouse in bemusement.


End file.
